Update

Well i will give an update on myself and my dilaudid addiction. I have been trying to get help for the past week and let me tell you it is a hell of a lot harder then i ever could have imagined. First all rehab centers for example Fosters, Dollard Cormier, Toxico stop etc etc...do not have resources to detox someone safely off of dilaudid so everywhere i called i was told to call st luc hospital where they to a 10 day detox from dilaudid using methadone. You stay there for 10 days since the withdrawls are horrible. I tried stopping myself one day and after about 15 to 18 hours, i was vomiting, i had diarrhea, sweats, tremors, leg kicking syndrome or restless leg kicking, anyway my legs were kicking on their own, my body was twitching, severe muscle cramps, stomach cramps, massive headache, hot minute freezing, one minute super hot, fever, blurred vision, hallucinations, trembling, fast beating heart..etc etc, not fun at all!!! I of course cracked and continued taking the dilaudid. Every person i have talked to since, rehab people, nurses and doctors tell me i MUST NOT stop using until i get help BUT they will not prescribe me any dilaudid, they pretty much tell me to keep buying it. Now getting into St luc hospital detox is not a simple task. First i called and their computer system was down, i was told by the lady to call back the next day, she said the waiting list was not bad at all about a week and a half. So i was really happy about that. When i called back i got a man whom was very kind and proceeded to explain that if i say i am buying my drugs from the streets the waiting list is 2 to 3 months BUT if i go to the doctor who first gave me a prescription after my fall and injury to my back, tell her my problem, she signs a note saying what she prescribed me, what amount, says i need detox and sends it in by fax and then it will only be about 2 to 3 weeks max before i can get in. So i went to my doctor this morning explained the whole situation also asked if i could have a prescription to keep me going until i get in. She takes all the information, congratulates me for taking action and trying to get help, says that at the end of my shifts she will make a few phone calls cause she has never done this before and will do her best to help me and call me by the end of the day. Well i get a phone call from her secretary at the end of the day saying that she will not be sending in a request for me to get into detox as she feels this is not her responsibility!!!! I was quite shocked, frustrated and discouraged. I am shocked at how hard it is to get help to get into a much needed detox. I do not understand that they all keep repeating do not stop using it is very dangerous, you could have a heart attack, respritory failure or even go into a coma but no referral to get into detox and no one will prescribe me anything! Where is the logic. I can certainly understand much better now how homeless people with addiction problems have a hell of a hard time getting help and getting off drugs. They also keep telling me to try and decrease my dose on my own!!!Well if i could do that, i would not be asking for help, my body is literally addicted by now, i start getting the shakes after about 4 hours if i am not taking them. And it costs money to buy these drugs. I am fully aware i did this to myself and it is my own fault but i want to stop and i need help and it seems impossible to get. I may have to try to go back home to get into a detox because in new Brunswick in rehab centers they all have detox facilities to get you off dilaudid safely. I will be going to St luc hospital IN PERSON and be quite persistant and vocal about needing help. Well this is my life update. Not much else to say. Wish me luck and thank you for reading me again :o)