Bordeline Personality Disorder

I am doing this blog in the hopes of helping people with "BPD" and to help family and friends and those who do not have BPD to perhaps understand us better. Also to learn from others at the same time. I am 36 years old and I was diagnosed with BPD about 2 years ago. I am fortunate enough to be in a fantastic treatment center for 2 years and i know that depending on where people live, many places do not have treatment at all. I will be sharing VERY PERSONAL information because i think it is important people understand and in the hopes that my story can help someone who has felt the same or went through similar experiences, hopefully they can relate. I would like to share experiences and things I have learned in therapy and hear people's stories and experiences. Please do not self diagnose yourself if you find you have many of the symptoms of Borderline personality disorder. I also am not a doctor or therapist so everything I post is from my own experiences and what I have learned so far about BPD. Everyone is welcome to share their stories, offer tips and such but if anyone is disrespectful I will remove your posts. I hope this will be a way to inform and help people including myself. Thank you

Tuesday 6 September 2011

Few ideas on radical acceptance 


 OK so in therapy we learned about radical acceptance. I will write out the page we were given about it.


Radical acceptance of certain things in your life




- When a person is in pain, their first reaction is often to get angry, upset, or blame someone/something. Unfortunately, no matter who you blame for your distress, the pain still exists and you continue to suffer. In some case, the angrier you get the worse you will feel.




- Getting angry or upset also stops you from seeing what is really happening, being "blinded by rage". Criticizing yourself or being over judgmental of a situation can blind you so that you miss the details and fail to see things as they really are. By getting angry and thinking that a situation should never have happened, you're missing the point that it did happen and you have to deal with it. 




- Being overly critical about a situation also prevents you from taking steps to change that situation. You can't change the past. If you spend your time fighting the past, wishfully thinking that your anger will change the outcome of an event that has already happened, you'll become paralyzed and helpless. Nothing will improve. 




- In short, getting angry at a situation, yourself, or another person often leads to more pain, missed details, and paralysis. 




- Radical acceptance: acknowledge your present situation, whatever it is, without judging the events or criticizing yourself. Instead, try to recognize that your present situation exists because of a long chain of events that began far in the past. Denying this chain of events does nothing to change what has already happened. Trying to fight this moment or say that it shouldn't be only leads you to more suffering for you.




- Radical acceptance means looking at yourself and your situation, seeing things as they really are. This does NOT mean that you condone or agree with bad behavior in others. It does mean that you STOP trying to change what's happened by getting angry and blaming.




Radical acceptance coping statements




- this is the way it has to be


- all the events in the past have led up to now


- i can't change what's already happened


- it's no use fighting the past


- Fighting the past only blinds me to the present


- The present is the only moment i have control over


- It's a waste of time to fight what has already occured


- The present moment is perfect, even if i don't like what is happening


- This moment is exactly as it should be, given what's happened before it


- This moment is the result of over a million other decisions


- If i keep focusing on the past, i will never be able to let go and enjoy the present


- i can fight this situation or accept it and deal with it and move on


- there is nothing i can do about this right this instant so it's a waste of time to even think about it




Hope this helps some of you :o)






















 




























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