Bouts of depression

Bouts of dep, ression can happen in a split second and they are not fun at all. They are hard to understand...I often get bouts of depression when i realise i fucked up without noticing, jumped into one of my compulsions. For example and again this is very hard to write for all to see, last month i fucked up my budget once again. I did not even notice, spent money here and there, didn't buy anything major either, but when it came time to pay my bills i had no money and now when i look back i see it clearly, i was on a bit of a high and just spent away without calculating aything, it can be pretty scary to kind of wake up all of a sudden and look back at "that" person that is YOURSELF. For me when this happens it's hard to not get depressed and its very embarassing to ask for help. I will usually hide and stop answering the phone. I will feel like i am in a dark hole with absolutly nothing to look forward to and nothing gives me any type of pleasure and i feel like i am doomed to be this way forever no matter how hard i try and god knows i do...this is when its easy to jump to another compulsion to make the pain of the depression from the first compulsion fuck up go away. I have in the past either stayed in my room for 2 weeks, gone on drinking binges etc etc. Anything to forget. I can see how unreasonable and how hard this must be for close ones to understand. When depressed, its a feeling of not being worth anything, useless in the world, a burden to others, feeling unwanted, this is also where sometimes the suicidal thoughts and the thought of cutting comes in. It is a very dark cycle and hard to get out of. You have to pick yourself up once again and start over. I am lucky i have therapy to help me through this and believe me just getting to therapy when one feels like this is not easy...but i cant imagine people out there without theapy and no family or friends that understand this. In therapy we are told and taught a few of the following tricks.
Force yourself to get dressed even for just an hour
Call a friend and talk about something else
Watch something funny on tv
Get out of the house and go for a walk even if just for 10 minutes
Remember that this shall pass even if it seems like it will never end, it always passes, this is not THE time where you will stay like this
Take a hot bath
Play with your pets
if you have any suicidal thoughts CALL TRACOM 514-483-3033 or 1-877-483-3033 or if you have someone you know can handle this and talk to you call them but if not call tracom they will help you.