I have found a way that really helps me when i start to get that anxious feeling rise in me or if i feel a panic attack coming on. I do try and catch myself before the anxiety becomes overwhelming or the panic attack has reached it's peak. First i will lay down or go somewhere quiet where i am alone. Then i force myself to start asking myself some questions as to why i am feeling this way.
Most of time its always either about guilt, or up coming events.
So if i realise i am feeling guilty about something, I will then ask myself, why am feeling guilty? If i feel guilty for example about having fucked up my budget and feel guilty towards my parents for having to help me once again, i tell myself Ok you have appologized, it's already done, you can change it and you are doing the best you can to stop this behavior so stop feeling guilty now.
If i am feeling guilty for example about something i said to someone the day before and i am wondering if i hurt the person's feelings, or if i think i was rude to someone and am feeling guilty, i tell myself well why dont you just ask the person, you might be completely wrong, fix it, get it over with and then you won't have to feel guilty anymore.
If i am feeling anxious about an upcoming event, for example like tonight i went to a concert. Let's say before hand in the afternoon, i would have started feeling anxiety. I would sit myself down and ask myself, ok is anything coming up soon. I would then think yes, that concert tonight. And if i realise that is what is making me anxious, the thought of being in public with a lot of people and the fear of panicking then i tell myself, well what is the worse that can happen. I will not die or start yelling or go crazy (cause in all the years i have had anxiety that has never happenned before). So i tell myself ok, no one is going to die, no one is going to get hurt, the worse scenario, i can always decide to leave and if i am really panicking i can even jump into a taxi and get home ASAP. That calms me down to think of it rationally and usually makes most of my anxiety go away.
I am seeing that i can apply this to everything because if i think about it, everytime i get anxious it's usually guilt about something or scared of something in the future. And if i really stop my spinning thoughts without knowing what i am feeling anxious about and then think about it rationally, i can always come up with a plan, or talk myself out of it. If i just let it go, its just going to get worse and worse and turn into a full blown anxiety attack and i won't even know why.
Something else occured to me, like i have said before my whole life i am always feeling guilty about everything. There is alwasy guilt for something. So i was trying to think of a way to stop this and i have decided to make a list of everything i can think of that i feel guilty about. Then i will go through each thing and think about them rationally. Should i be feeling guilty about this. Did i really do something wrong. If i did, is there a way i can fix it? If i have already fixed it well off the list it will go and i will not permit myself to feel guilty about things that are done and that i have already fixed and that cannot be changed. If there is something on my list i am not sure about that involves another person, instead of always wondering about it constantly, i will from now on just ask the person if indeed i did hurt them or offend them or do something wrong. And you know what the times i have actually done this almost 99% of the time i was wrong. If i am right then i can talk it out with that person and fix it so i dont have to spend hours or days or weeks feeling guilty and anxious about it while i can just fix it NOW. I shall be trying that this week and see what comes out of it but i think it's a pretty good plan.
Now i know i give out a lot of tips and tools on here either from things i have learned in therapy or with experience, and a lot of people tell me. Oh this does not work for me, but when i ask them did you really try it, the answer is usually no, or i only tried it once. I cannot repeat enough that if you don't try it and practice it it's not going to miracly happen on it's own. One has to really want it and really try it and not just say, oh next time. A lot of people say oh i have tried everything in my life nothing works. I don't believe that. I too when i started therapy thought, ahhhh what am i going to learn here, i know everything i should be doing, what can they possibly teach me i have not tried yet? Well i am eating my own words now. Yes a lot of the stuff i am being taught i already knew, but i had never actually really really practiced it, therapy forced me to do that because after a group meeting they would tell me to practice on a specific thing and report back to them at the next group session. And yes it takes work, cause for some reason it's just often way to easier to keep doing the things we do, because that is what we know and what we are used to and feel secure with. And it's alwasy scary to try something new, especially if you have already tried many things in your life and it has not worked. It sometimes scary to give it your all and if ends up not working and you feel like yet again you failed. But believe me these things really work and a lot of them are quite simple things when you think about it.
I know a lot of them are easier to practice on a good day when you are feeling good. And much harder to try when you really need it but that is exactly when you have to force yourself to do it. The other day i was talking to a friend that was anxious. And i suggested distracting himself but every distraction i mentionned was not good enough and there was always an excuse, oh i have done that it doesnt work for me, i cant do this or that because i dont like it, nothing will work. Finally i said, well just try one whether you like it or not. I said get out of the house and go for a walk for just 15 minutes and then tell me how you feel. And believe me i know how hard it can be when you are really not feeling well and the last thing you want to do is get dressed and go outside for a walk. When he came back from his walk, and it was cold outside. He said it really did help. It had changed his reality and perception. All it took was a 15 minute walk, EVERYONE can find at least one distraction taht will help them, whether it be a walk, watch a tv show, call a friend, draw, play video games etc etc. But we sometimes can be so stubborn it's almost as if we enjoy being in miseray sometimes. And god knows i am far from being perfect and sometimes yes these things don't do it on a really really bad day. But it really really helps a lot of the time. GIVE IT A TRY, really really try. And you will be shocked how sometimes just a few simple things can really help you get through a panic attack, some depression or anxiety. Nothing to lose by trying since you are already sitting there feeling miserable anyway. Like one of the best psychiatrist i have ever met in one of my groups says " If you have time to worry or be anxious for hours and hours, you certainly have time to try something to fix it ". I like that hahaha.
Thank you once again for reading me, i really hope this might help someone out there who feels like i do :o)
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