As most of you know i would say about 99% of bpd people have no clue who they are. For example i have spent my whole life in pleasing mode. The only me i know is the me that is a cameleon and acts in a way i think others want me to be in order to be liked. When i stop doing this i am left with a me i dont know anything about, no personality it feels like. Well i am finding ways to pretty much get to know myself, who i am, what i like and dont like etc. I thought i would share. It is actually quite simple and is helping me quite a bit.
Its hobbies. While trying to find ways to distract myself when i panic or have anxiety, i had made a long list of activities to try out. And was also trying to find new hobbies i would enjoy. I am finding that it is helping me to get to know myself which i did not expect. I decided to start baking as a hobby and realised i really liked it and that i am actually good at it. This first of all gave me a feeling of self confidence which i rarely have. It's only baking but being good at something feels amazing. So it is helping me with my self confidence and it is helping me get to know myself. I was also thinking this can be a great way to make friends and connections with people who i would have similar interests with. I was thinking of taking a cooking class. They have some that you can go to for one night. It is a bit expensive but i think would be well worthed. Its a whole evening thing, You learn a recipe and then you all get to sit down and eat the meal together. This would be a great way to make new friends, to feel like i am good at something and belong somewhere and for me to find out what things i like to do in life which has the effect of getting to know ME.
Another good one i was thinking of is volunteering. If you find a place where you can volunteer for something you are really passionate about. I think it would have many benefits. First you will be doing something you really enjoy. You will have that wonderful feeling that you are helping people and making a difference in this world. You will meet great people who share the same passion as you do. And will feel a sense of reward for doing this. Plus it is free.
I also want to take a yoga class which first would be excellent for my physical health but not only that it is a fantastic way to quiet the mind which i think is very good for people with bpd since we all have those annoying spinning thoughts. It is also great for anxiety as it really really helps you relax. I know this since where i go to therapy, last january we were lucky enough to have one session of yoga free per week for 3 months and the benefits were simply amazing. Every time i left there i felt really calm and someone connected to the world. It would really quiet my mind and really relax me and help me with my anxiety, concentration and sleep.
So basically whether it be a small or big hobby or volunteering, i now see it as a very good way to boost ones self esteem, a great way to meet new friends with similar interests as you. And a good way to get to know yourself a little bit by knowing what you like and don't like. Give it a try you just might enjoy it more then you can imagine :o)
Thank you for reading me again :o)
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