Bordeline Personality Disorder

I am doing this blog in the hopes of helping people with "BPD" and to help family and friends and those who do not have BPD to perhaps understand us better. Also to learn from others at the same time. I am 36 years old and I was diagnosed with BPD about 2 years ago. I am fortunate enough to be in a fantastic treatment center for 2 years and i know that depending on where people live, many places do not have treatment at all. I will be sharing VERY PERSONAL information because i think it is important people understand and in the hopes that my story can help someone who has felt the same or went through similar experiences, hopefully they can relate. I would like to share experiences and things I have learned in therapy and hear people's stories and experiences. Please do not self diagnose yourself if you find you have many of the symptoms of Borderline personality disorder. I also am not a doctor or therapist so everything I post is from my own experiences and what I have learned so far about BPD. Everyone is welcome to share their stories, offer tips and such but if anyone is disrespectful I will remove your posts. I hope this will be a way to inform and help people including myself. Thank you

Monday 28 May 2012

Good tool for anxiety and spinning thoughts

Someone the other day told me about this useful trick for either anxiety, panic attacks or just never ending spinning thoughts and it's quite simple.

Stop and start looking at all lines around you. You will find them everywhere like on a brick wall, a frame, hardwood floor, cupboards and that's just inside a house. Outside, the lines that divide the side walk, line on the street etc etc. Once you start focusing on trying to see lines everywhere, believe me you will see them, and soon you start to forget about the anxiety or spinning thoughts. It's pretty much like practicing mindfulness.

Hope this helps :o)

Thanks for reading me :o)
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5 comments:

  1. Anonymous12 June 2012 at 12:12

    Hi there,

    I recently found your blog after ending a relationship with a woman that brought to me the most amazing and most depressing times of my life. At first I had no idea about where her odd behavior would come from, then after ending the relationship, I decided to look up her behavior online, and for the first time in my life I read about BPD, and I have to admit, BPD fits my ex girlfriend like a glove.

    I feel so bad for her, because I didn't know about it when we were together, had she told me, I would've been able to understand and help her. I do believe however that sometimes we meet people in our lives in order to learn a lesson. I have been reading about BPD for months now, I have read so many blogs, including yours, and I actually have a new found respect towards my ex, knowing she's in so much pain inside.

    I sent her an email to tell her that I found out she has BPD (haven't heard from her). Not expecting to hear from her, but I just hope she gets better.

    I just wanted to thank you for being so open, and for educating people like myself understand BPD.

    I have a lot of compassion for people like you and my ex.

    Thanks

    HC

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nac13 June 2012 at 01:14

    Hi,
    First thank you so much for taking the time to read me. It means a lot and means a lot that you say it helps people understand. It can be quite difficult for even us to understand quite often what is going on in our heads.

    I am wondering if your ex knew she was bpd. I was only diagnosed 6 years after my divorce at 34. When i look back now it is so obvious but until someone actually diagnosed me i had never really even heard about it. I hope she will get better and get help. Thank you for your comment

    Nac

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous13 June 2012 at 11:50

    Hi Nac,

    Thanks so much for replying to my comment. In all honesty, I think she knew she was BPD, based on so many comments she would make when we were dating, or at least she knew that there was something odd about her. She was always questioning why she felt the way she felt, but never really went to see a Psychiatrist. She told me about her awful childhood, and knew that she had to deal with a lot of that pain in order to be able to keep a relationship. I would tell her to stop pleasing so many people and to put herself first a lot of times, it's amazing to find out that the more I read about BPD, I pretty much told her she had so many times, but in a different way since I didn't really know about BPD, but I would tell her that she would push me away, to stop pleasing all her friends and to think about herself a bit more, to find coping skills to deal with stress. I just wish I had all this knowledge about BPD back to when we were dating.

    Part of me wants to reach out, but part of me its still so hurt by some of the things she did, that I think I have to let her deal with this on her own, or at least until we've both healed to a point where we are ready to see each other again. I have to deal with my own hurt.

    I really don't mean to add more stress to your life, but seriously thank you so much for taking the time to listen and respond, it really helps me understand BPD a lot better, and it will hopefully help me use this knowledge to help my ex in the future.

    Thanks for listening, and please be strong. I know a lot more because of you.

    HC

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nac14 June 2012 at 01:17

    Exactly how i felt too before diagnoses, i knew there was something different about me and that i had different behaviors, reactions then others. And often noticed i did not think like others. Always felt like i did not exactly fit in anywhere and as you say i was always trying to please people yet would often end up hurting them. If she does have it and does not know i really hope she finds out and gets help :o) It must have been really hard for you as well and i agree that you must heal too.

    Am happy you took the time to look up bpd, you must of really cared about her, and another person is now informed :o) Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous18 June 2012 at 08:57

    Hi Nac,

    Yeah I did care for her a lot, and I still love her very much to this day. I just wish things were different. I wish I knew about her having BPD. I'm just so confused right now, because I don't know what to believe anymore i.e. did she know she had it? why didn't she tell me? did she not know?
    I've been thinking about contacting her, but it will open those wounds again, so I will contact her in the near future after I heal a bit more.
    The sad thing is that the more I look back, the more I'm convinced that her 10 year old daughter is becoming BPD too, and that's sad.

    I hope you are doing better. Feel free to email me if you want to chat bbchd@me.com

    Take care and thanks again.

    ReplyDelete

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